Running
by Mercedes Aria
Summary: "For me the room upstairs isn't empty." Fourth Doctor/Sarah Jane, Eleventh Doctor
1. Author's Note and Other Formalities

_**In memory of Elisabeth Sladen, the best companion the Doctor ever had or will ever have. **_

_Dedicated to Spydurwebb, who encouraged me to finish this and did the beta reading for it. Her Doctor/Sarah stories have long inspired me. Thank you._

**Disclaimer:**

Aside from _Doctor Who_ and the _Sarah Jane Adventures_ characters and concepts, I also do not lay claim to the lyrics used within this four-part tale.

**Select lyrics from:**

Running- _Sarah Brightman, M. Himmelsbach, Frank Peterson; as performed by Sarah Brightman_

It's A Beautiful Day- _adapted from the Un Bel Di Vedremo aria from Giacomo Puccini's Madama Butterfly, also a cover of "Ein Schöner Tag" by Schiller; as performed by Sarah Brightman_

Long Away- _Brian May; Queen_

Somewhere Only We Know- _Keane_

Across the Universe- _John Lennon, Paul McCartney; as performed by David Bowie_

_There is also a direct nod to my current favorite drama on NBC as well as several Classic Doctor Who episodes. _

_Reviews would be lovely. ;)_


	2. Running I

_**Running**_

_**I was sad and I was silent in shadow of my soul, ever seeking the horizon for promises untold.**_

_**I dream of silent oceans and I sing of waters blue. With the crossing of angels brought forth to guide me through to a distant shore so welcoming where I was free to roam. In a land of ancient mystery that I could call my own….**_


	3. A Promise Kept: It's a Beautiful Day

**A Promise Kept: It's A Beautiful Day**

_Un bel giorno ... Un bel giorno per morire… Un bel di, vedremo. Le varsi un fil di fumo. Sull'e stremo con fin del mare. E poi la nave appare…_

_With every new day your promises fade away…_

* * *

The years slipped away with every blink of the eye, it seemed. Often she heard it said that time passed faster as the end of life came closer. It was a matter of truth, she concluded with a dejected sigh. She prepared for this moment for years, given her line of work. Defending Earth from invaders tended to have one facing death on a regular basis and it was wise to have things in order, just in case. And Sarah liked to be prepared, especially since Luke and Sky had come into her life.

_Luke and Sky... _The memories of the children who became hers burbled over her, unbidden. All their firsts, all of the simple wonders of the mundane world and the unparalleled marvels of the universe as seen through their young eyes brought to the surface the deep bitterness of the briefness of a human life. They had so many more firsts to come. So many that she would not see.

But the moment had been long prepared for.

Yet she was unprepared when _It_ happened. She sat in the attic by the window with a cup of cold tea in one hand, hugging an aged stuffed owl with the other as she gazed up at the stars. When that old familiar blue box made herself at home in the attic, Sarah drew in a deep breath as the loft space suddenly seemed so much smaller on the inside. It wasn't the appearance of the TARDIS that she was so unprepared for, because she expected him to come, just as he had so many times before, usually at the worst possible time. Tonight was no exception and his timing could not have been worse. What she was unprepared for, what she could never have ever been prepared for was _Who_ stepped out of that police box. In the blink of an eye, she was thrown decades into her past. Time froze.

"Hello, Sarah." The deep timbre of his beloved voice made her believe that her hearing was failing her. The wide, familiar grin of her cherished companion greeting her with giddy expectation made her believe that her vision was also failing.

_This isn't happening. This isn't possible...!_ Despite Sarah's life being full to the brim of impossible things, apparently, some things were still beyond even her scope of belief. He was always one of them. Realizing her hearing and vision were fully intact, she now knew her wit and reflexes left her stranded. The tea cup fell from her hands, sloshing the ice-cold liquid out over the ragged owl. It trickled onto the floor with its ceramic vessel following, shattering on the hardwood floor. _Wha-? Ho-? Wh-? _She tried to form a coherent question, but her voice also miscarried. In the end, all she could do was gape at him.

Whenever the Doctor set about to go somewhere, something usually went wrong. Specifically, he would almost always miss his mark. Now, exactly where he intended to be, something was still amiss. It took him several seconds to put his finger on it and when he did, he found it terribly disheartening and his grin diminished to a concerned, thin line. The look of elation he expected was not on Sarah's face. Something was wrong. Instead, she looked positively dumbfounded and not exactly happy. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, careful not to reveal his disappointment just in case he had missed his destination after all and come out in an alternative terminus.

He stepped fully out of the TARDIS, brown curls untamed without a hat. His ridiculously long scarf batted about his feet teasing to trip him at any moment, though it never actually would. The Doctor,_ her_ Doctor, looking just as he had the last time she saw him, shoved his hands into his pockets, and regarded her with slight annoyance. _No_, she corrected herself, _not simple annoyance_. There was something behind the exasperation: apprehension, she guessed. He caught her gaze and realized that she sensed his insecurity. "Look," he said almost brusquely. "I can't stay long. Only just stopped by to get you and-." The incredulous look she gave him stopped his words.

She positioned the owl in front of her as though it was a shield. His eyes fell to the stuffed bird causing his mouth to twist into a pained frown as he recalled that the last time he saw the toy was also the last time he saw her.

"Go?" As quickly as her voice had fled her, it returned. But her tone came out colder than she meant it to be. "I can't go."

The façade of confidence fell away completely. It was his turn to stare at her in silence.

"What are you doing here?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but either couldn't or thought better of it. He blinked and shook his head as though he didn't quite comprehend why she questioned him. He took a step towards her and she took a step back. Was this the wrong Sarah after all? Had he botched it up again? No, no! He was absolutely certain that he hadn't. He consulted the TARDIS before setting his course and she was absolutely certain that this was the right place, the right moment, the right Sarah. And though he may have often let the TARDIS down, the old girl had yet to let him down, especially in matters of such importance. "I told you," he answered quietly, looking at the rafters of the attic, "that we would meet again. Don't you remember, Sarah?"

She started to say something, then stopped, shaking her head in dismissal. They already had this conversation, years ago, and though it hadn't happened for him yet, she had no energy or desire to revisit the topic, not even with _this_ him, so she simply said in a flat voice, "And we have. More than once."

The lack of affection, or any emotion, disturbed him greatly. She was hurt, he diagnosed. _Hurt by me? Something I've done? Would do? Myself? Or another incarnation? Incarnations? _Petulantly, he dismissed that line of Mobius thought as ultimately unimportant. It had nothing to do with why he was here now. The sullen looked remained etched in his features for a brief moment before evaporating with understanding. _Oh, Sarah! _So great was his relief when he realized that she had misunderstood him all those years ago that it came out in wide grin.

"No, no, Sarah. That's not what I meant." He forgot about her disbelief and defensiveness and rushed towards her. "When I left you in Croydon_, I_," he tugged at his scarf to emphasize that he meant this incarnation and not a future one, "Couldn't come back. Not until this moment."

She turned her back on him fully to prevent him from getting too close. She bit back the urge to snap at him that he hadn't left her Croydon, but Aberdeen. Decades of old hurts and emotions bubbled up and threatened to spill over, but with practiced resolution she buried them once more. It was a deep blow to her pride to discover that he could still rattle her so after all this time; that his abandonment was as fresh now as it had been then. "I'm afraid you're too late," she quipped lightly, trying too hard to make it sound as though she didn't care. The Doctor, however, did not miss the acrimony that laced about her words, and pulled up before he invaded her space. "But then timing never was your strong suit."

"Sarah-"

She shrugged off whatever explanation was coming and turned her attention to the heavens. Her guarded veneer began to crack. "You're too late. My time is nearly over."

He heard the quiet pain and fear in her statement and understood the reason for her behavior. He didn't expect her to know, thinking he would be in time to save her from that knowledge and the grief that accompanied it. But then Sarah's intuitiveness had always been one of her greatest strengths, so of course, she would sense that the end was approaching. "I couldn't come back any sooner, Sarah. I am sorry for that."

Sarah inhaled a quiet breath, reminding herself of his alienness and how futile continuing this line of conversation with him was. She would never quite be able to make him understand the extent of damage his departure had caused her because _he_ couldn't understand. Determinedly, she let it go and concentrated on the fact that he was here now, most assuredly for the very last time. "I know, I've had that conversation with," she paused thoughtfully, pursing her lips together, wondering how much she could tell him. "With a future incarnation." She willed herself to lose the biting edge to her voice so he wouldn't be on the defensive. "And anyway, I knew it couldn't last forever. Nothing can, can it?" The air was so still that she began to doubt that he was still there; perhaps he had never been there. Sarah couldn't bring herself to turn around.

Then, just when her doubts became overwhelming, he spoke. "It can, actually."

Her breath caught in her throat and her pulse pounded in her ears as her mind raced with all the possible implications of those words. It took several moments for Sarah to regain her composure and to stop struggling for meaning; she almost always misunderstood him when she tried so hard for comprehension. Finally, she managed, "Don't tease me, Doctor. I'm not in the mood for it." A chasm suddenly opened up between them as Sarah realized that nothing had changed for him while everything had changed for her. She transformed so very much and he not at all.

The enormity of that gulf did not deter him, if he even noticed it. "I'm serious, Sarah," his tone was grave and lower than before. "One last trip."

A melancholy settled over her as she understood that he did not grasp that death had a very different meaning for her and that the thought of jaunting off into the unknown with him pretending that nothing was wrong was wholly unappealing. Sarah squared her shoulders and stared absently out of the window. "There seem to be an awful lot of one lasts these days."

The air around her shifted and became cooler with a familiar extraterrestrial scent. He was close behind her now, the expanse between them now fully closed. Involuntarily, she shivered as he brushed her hair off of her shoulders and rested his chin atop her head. He mistook her shivering for a chill, or so she thought, as he took the owl and put it on a table just out of her reach before wrapping both his scarf and his arms about her,. "I'm quite sure you've noticed that I really shouldn't be here. My very presence is breaking all sorts of time laws, shrugging off all manner of convention." He gave her a sidelong glance hoping that he still possessed the power to make her smile.

Whether he was successful he wasn't sure as the shadows hid her face from him. "Paradox and all that?" she queried.

He nodded, "When someone or something remains in a timeline they should no longer be a part of, all manner of chaos can ensue…"

_How typical!_ Sarah thought, a bit taken aback by his apparent insensitivity to her situation. _I'm facing death and he's lecturing me on timelines! _A part of Sarah wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all, but she didn't have a chance as the Doctor tapped her shoulder impatiently and scolded, "Would you stop thinking so hard and pay attention to what I'm saying for once?"She nearly admonished him for his seeming use of telepathy, but something in his voice suggested that this wasn't his usual lecture and she held her tongue. When he was satisfied he wouldn't be interrupted again, he went on, "As I was saying- all manner of chaos can ensue. However, there are a few loopholes that exist. In rare circumstances, chaos can be avoided if the something or someone is removed from the timeline just prior to the fixed point of their demise; the how isn't important, just that it's done."

He had done something clever, or at least, thought he had. Sarah didn't need to see his face to see the smug self-confidence that exuded from him- she could feel it. He had done something clever and his ego now needed to be stroked, but he had told her stop thinking so hard and she had done so quite literally. Though she heard every word he said, she hadn't yet begun to process it and therefore could give him no affirmation. This wounded the Doctor terribly. They stood in silence for some while before the Doctor, in a remarkable bout of insight into Sarah's humanity and fears, remarked. "I know you're worried about what will happen to Sky and Luke without you to watch over them, but I can tell you that they not only survive but they thrive. You're leaving them quite a legacy, Sarah, one that they will carry on with brilliance. They both will have families of their own. Sky will be the most like you with a gaggle of intergalactic orphans she'll take in and call her own. Luke will establish the Bannerman Road Institute that trains specially chosen operatives and equips them with their own Mr. Smith and, in certain cases, a K9, even on other planets. Before long, youth throughout the galaxy will be defending their planets from their attics with someone's mum as their leader."

When he finished, he discovered Sarah staring up at him with her mouth slightly agape. He grinned, but she didn't. Deep anxiety marred her features and she clutched her forehead as though in pain. "You're telling me things I shouldn't know," she rebuked him, shaking her head in distress. "Things that _you_ shouldn't know. How can you possibly know any of that?"

He seemed entirely unconcerned with his forbidden knowledge. The grin widened and his eyes twinkled with mischief as he answered with a shrug. "I'm a Time Lord."

Sarah stared at him, uncomprehendingly, and let her hand drop to her side, though her head really was beginning to throb. After regarding him for minute to gauge his mood, she decided it was best to indulge his rhetoric lest she never get a straight answer out of him. "Yes, I know you're a Time Lord."

He titled his chin up so that he was looking down his nose at her with a serious face. But without a hat to hide the mischievous sparkle that still lit his eyes, his jocularity was exposed, leaving Sarah even more baffled. "You don't understand the implication. I'm not a human being; I walk in eternity."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that this conversation is giving me a bout of déjà vu, isn't it you?"

"Doctor!" He had done it with that- pulled back the somber cloak she had wrapped herself so tightly in. The sound of her laughter that had been lost to him for so long rang in his ears and the light of her smile made his own grow.

"Eternity can be a lonely place," he told her with a shrug. "Having my best friend with me would certainly assuage that a bit I should think." He could see the rapid-fire succession of questions building up behind her eyes before her mouth even formed the first query and he quickly went on, "Anyway, I regenerated and past incarnations can get away with more than the current one ever could."

Sarah, her mind reeling as she struggled to comprehend what he was telling her, tried desperately not to let her rising hope get caught up in his upsurge of enthusiasm, but it was a futile fight. The beginnings of a grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. "You're not doing something another incarnation will end up paying for, are you?"

He could see the embers of the Sarah he knew so well sparking beneath the melancholy haze that clouded her green eyes. He couldn't resist fanning the flame. "Now, Sarah," he drawled innocently. "Would I do something like that?"

"Oh, absolutely you would!"

He laughed and she couldn't stop herself from joining him, though her joy was not as bold as his. "Surprisingly, I'm not, actually," he promised. He took her hands in his and continued on more seriously. "As of tomorrow, you can no longer be a part of this timeline not even in the smallest of ways. Provided we don't re-enter this time stream until the next appointed time, we can do as we please."

"The next appointed time?" she wrinkled her nose at him. "You said I can never re-enter this timeline. How can there be a next time?"

"There's always a next time, Sarah. I'd have thought you'd have figured that out by now."

By this time she'd had time to process his proposal and its possible repercussions, her merriment waned as she forced herself to face reality. "I'm old," she told him bluntly, pulling out of his grasp. "I'm allowed to be slower on the uptake."

He looked down his nose at her again, the twinkle completely gone. He regarded her solemnly with a critical eye before declaring, "You're not old. You're beautiful."

That was too much for Sarah, who could no longer believe in this particular fairy tale he fed her. She turned away from him completely. "You know I hate to be patronized. So please- don't."

"You should know me better than that." He sounded aggrieved, but she rolled her eyes. "You don't believe me?" She didn't answer. "Fine, see for yourself." From the corner of her eye, she saw the Doctor fish a hand mirror out of a coat pocket that Sarah was convinced was sewn by the TARDIS herself. It was the only explanation for the amount of rubbish that coat could hold. Aggravation welled up within her. She knew what she looked like, she didn't need his mirror to remind of how old she'd become. She shooed the glass away, but he would have none of it. "Stop being childish," he chided in the way she had so often scolded him. "Look." She acquiesced only get him to leave her alone. Resolving not to give the looking glass anything more than the most fleeting of glances, she shot a hesitant look in its direction.

That was all it took to once again throw Sarah into her past. The face that stared back at her was one that she had been familiar with years ago, but it was wrong now; it was too round, too fresh, too young. It had to be trick glass or the glow emanating from the TARDIS that played tricks on her fatigued eyes. She raised her shoulders as though physically shaking off unwanted memories. "I don't look like that anymore. I'm so much more than 25." Her voice cracked with sorrow and resentment. "Please, Doctor, don't do this to me. I just can't handle these fairy stories."

The Doctor stared at her in astonishment; stunned that she thought he was making this up, that _he was lying to her_. With heavy hearts he took back the mirror she thrust him. For once, he was at a loss for words and it was an odd, uncomfortable feeling. The abyss between them began to crack open again. But before it could grow too wide, he quietly asked, "Have I ever lied to you, Sarah?"

_Rule number one: The Doctor lies._ The thought struck Sarah solidly in the chest as that particular rule always troubled her. Perhaps it was true now, but it wasn't true then. The thought forced her to reconsider her judgment of the Doctor's proposal. If _she_ was being honest, she could not recall a single instance where the Doctor lied to her without regard or so blatantly. "No," she admittedly, ashamed for doubting him so severely. She couldn't face him and fixed her gaze on the heavens again.

"Then why should I start now?" He spoke so softly that she almost didn't hear him. Whatever half-truths may have been told, he had always, always come clean it the end, full of remorse for those white lies that often saved her a tremendous amount of worry. A ghost of a smile kissed her lips.

She was so still for so long that the Doctor began to doubt himself. It never once occurred to him that she might decline to go with him. It never once occurred to him what he would do if she did decline. But decline _his_ invitation? _Sarah? No, surely._ _Sarah always goes with me, no matter how put out she might be. _Oh, he knew even though he really shouldn't as Sarah told him, she had turned down subsequent incarnations, but she would never turn _him _down. _Would she? _

Time was slipping away from them and she made no indication of saying anything more. He decided that he couldn't bear to hear her say no. He couldn't face losing her to eternity. He stubbornly refused to watch her walk away from him so he walked away from her. His return to the TARDIS was slow and he kept looking back in anticipation of her running to him, begging him not to go without her. But Sarah remained where she was, staring at something he couldn't see. He was at the door now of his faithful friend. Roughly, he jammed the key into the lock and gave it an angry twist, filled with even more resolve to leave. But he couldn't. The TARDIS wouldn't allow it. She had locked him out. Under his breath, he cursed her treachery, accusing the blue box of betrayal.

"You said it could last forever." Sarah's voice startled him from his struggle with the TARDIS. Guilty, he whipped around, trying to hide evidence of his attempted escape, but she still wasn't looking at him.

Leaving the key where it was, he cautiously started towards her. "Yes. I did."

With a heavy sigh, she turned partially towards him. "I've missed you." It was then that he glimpsed what she had been trying to hide from him-the tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Oh, Sarah, I've missed you." He swept her up in hug, lifting her feet off of the floor and swinging her about. Pressing his lips against her ear, he whispered conspiratorially, "I wouldn't do this for just anyone you know. This can only be done for one person, one very important person, only once. Start doing something like this willy-nilly and we might end up causing a crack in the universe or something equally unpleasant."

For the first time since he'd returned, Sarah's smile reached her eyes and set them afire. Without letting go of him, she whispered back, "Will I be able to say goodbye to Luke and Sky before we go?"

"Of course, my Sarah Jane," he promised with a grin. "There's still plenty of Time."

* * *

_It's a fine day to see, though the last day for me- it's a beautiful day._

_ It's the last day for me. It's a beautiful day…_


End file.
